Can't Sleep in this Condition
by joeywithtaupehair1
Summary: Tetsuhiro's responsibilities left Souichi frustrated. And one faithful night, Souichi decided he can't handle it anymore. Set after my previous fic, Breakfast in Bed, when the two are finally open with each other's feelings.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hi! It's my first time writing a story so I'm not sure if I'm doing it right. So please forgive me if my stories seem out of character or if it's offending in any way.

Koisuru Boukun is my all-time favorite manga, and I have been obssessed since the first time I read it. Now my head's filled with my OTP and I've been daydreaming all the time. I can't help but imagine scenes that I wish were in the manga but I know won't be there, at least for now. So... ta-da! I transferred my dreams to paper (or rather, typed it in my phone.) In short, my stories will take place where the manga left off. Or sometimes, it will take place in a dream world where Senpai loves Morinaga-san openly. Like this one right here. So, enjoy, and if you have more time to spare, feel free to leave a comment! ?

 **Can't Sleep in this Condition**

Chapter 1

Tetsuhiro has been working non-stop since he last came back from Hamamatsu. One week and two days to be precise.

Today is no different from the previous days. He woke up. Prepared breakfast. Showered. Then got ready for school. He did it all before 7 AM. He decided that if he wants to achieve more, then he has to start early.

He let Souichi sleep. He wakes up just before Tetsuhiro leaves the apartment. Enough time for a morning greeting and a quick peck on the lips (followed by a swing of a fist that always misses its target). Then Tetsuhiro would leave Souichi, his groggy Senpai murmuring words that Tetsuhiro was sure all are synonymous to 'idiot'.

Upon arriving at the University, he will go straight to Professor Fukushima's office to discuss the results of his previous day's experiments. After that, he will go straight to class where he will be until lunch break.

It was like that every morning since he last came home from training. It was all because of a tip he got from a colleague.

He was told that he can get promoted easier if he has a master's degree. That's how Tetsuhiro came to the decision of continuing his master's degree while training for S Pharmaceuticals. He still has a year, and he figured one year is enough to finish his thesis. He can take the other less important courses later, he can do his thesis now. He decided that he has to make it now and make it quick.

He knew living a double life is hard. But he wanted this and so he has to live it through. His routine drastically changed from then on.

And the stress is starting to get to him now.

Souichi understood. Or at least he tried. What he cannot understand is why Tetsuhiro was in such a rush. He can go back to school later, once his position at work becomes more stable. He can live his double life then, after he gets used to his responsibilities at the pharmaceuticals. By that time, extra load such as school should be ok. He is also sure the man can get promoted with no sweat and even with no master's degree. He has that much confidence in him. But Tetsuhiro won't hear him out. He just came back all excited and laid his plans out for Souichi, without leaving room for argument. Souichi decided that he should just trust the man and give him support. He will stick around if the man wants to talk.

However, Tetsuhiro doesn't look like he has any plans of doing so. Tetsuhiro always left the apartment earlier. Then during lunch, the only time they could spend freely, Tetsuhiro was looking at his laptop and typing away. After lunch, they will still be together, completing their own experiments, but talking is out of the question.

The evenings are the worst for Souichi. At first, he thinks it's fine. It's just like when Tetsuhiro's away for training. He walks home alone. He is welcomed by an empty apartment. He eats alone. However there are nights when he longs for the man's presence, and he gets frustrated by the fact that Tetsuhiro is in town, but not with him. But he'd rather poke his own eyes with chopsticks than admit it. So he distracts himself with work and he does it til sleep comes. He would stay up as late as he could, working in the living room, but Tetsuhiro still comes home later. He didn't know Tetsuhiro could survive longer hours of work than he could. Back then, Tetsuhiro would nag him for staying out so late for an experiment. Now, it's the younger man who is seldom home by the time Souichi goes to bed. Souichi figured this must be how the man felt whenever he, Souichi, spends long hours in the lab.

And the stress is also starting to get to Souichi.


	2. Chapter 2

**Can't Sleep in this Condition**

Chapter 2

Tetsuhiro came home around two in the morning. He closed the door, toed his shoes off and flopped on the sofa.

There are no other movements around. _"He must be sleeping already."_ Thought Tetsuhiro. He felt dead on his feet but he can't find the will to sleep. He is pissed at himself.

His experiment today was a failure. He needs to start all over again. He spent the entire afternoon studying how much adjustments he has to make to ensure success next time. He was so sure he was going to succeed today. But he did not and he can't help getting frustrated both at how things are going, and at himself. It has been his second trial and tomorrow, he has to start the third. He doesn't know what to say to Professor Fukushima. And more importantly, what to say to Souichi. He has abandoned his duties as his assistant at school... and at home, he abandoned his duties as his lover.

Not that the man was complaining. Tetsuhiro doesn't know if he should be grateful for that. He can't help but think that Souichi might even prefer it this way. Even if he already accepted Tetsuhiro's feelings, and told him he loves him too on Tetsuhiro's birthday, Tetsuhiro is not sure if the blonde feels comfortable being touched by him already. Tetsuhiro wants to believe instead that Souichi's nonchalant attitude might be the blonde being supportive. Maybe he doesn't want to add to Tetsuhiro's burden and distances himself so Tetsuhiro could concentrate. He wants to ask him, to at least get a confirmation that their relationship is still steady but he can't due to some circumstances. Like when he comes home, Souichi is already in his room. He wonders what his beloved truly feels with the situation, and seeing that Souichi seems unaffected makes him feel unsure. _What's the use of being finally assigned in Nagoya after a year, if Senpai suddenly decides he doesn't need me anymore?_

He decided to go to the kitchen for a drink. He must think things through. He became more pissed at himself. _Why didn't I think it thoroughly the first time? I acted on impulse, and now what did I put myself into?_ He stood by the counter and settled two cans of beer on it.

 _I want to be promoted fast, so I can move back here and stay with Senpai. I love him and I want to be with him for the rest of our lives. I don't know if I can even handle another week of training away from him. But finishing my degree and completing my responsibilities for S Pharmaceuticals at the same time, are eating all the other time I could have spent with Senpai. He isn't complaining, and he seems to be ok with the setup. I haven't tried anything more than a kiss since I came back. If I continue this, Senpai and I will... drift apart until he... wouldn't want me around anymore._

What Tetsuhiro doesn't know is that Souichi is wide awake. Sleep won't come and he knows why. He heard Tetsuhiro come in. He didn't plan on going out and check on him. He wanted him to think that he is already asleep, just like the previous days.

But Tetsuhiro kept on sighing and Souichi felt uneasy. He battled between going out and staying in his room for a while, til he heard the sound of a can being opened. That's when Souichi's brow ticked.

That's it. He can't take it anymore. He can ignore his own needs. But he can't ignore Tetsuhiro's. _Not his sexual needs, no. He needs to sleep! Not drink! He needs to go back to his previous routine or he'll end up in the hospital! And, he can finish his degree later. He must set his priorities straight. If this is all about getting promoted fast, I'm going to pummel him to the next world._

So in the end, Souichi decided to come out. He had his speech ready and he is going to convince the man. He won't stop until he says he will put his degree on hold again, which was the original plan. But all of his thoughts vanished in an instant when he came to the kitchen. The sight that welcomed him isn't comforting in any way.

He found him getting more beer from the fridge and saw how he downed a can in one gulp. That irritated him. He has bags under his eyes and his cheeks are deep. He looks like he is going to faint anytime now and he still decided to drown himself in alcohol.

Just after Tetsuhiro gulped almost half of another can, he heard the voice of his beloved speaking in a tone he hasn't used on him in a while now.

"So you finally decided to come home." Tetsuhiro was startled. He must be so lost in his thoughts that he failed to sense the love of his life walking towards the kitchen.

"Senpai." Tetsuhiro didn't make any move. He just stood, leaning on the counter, too tired to even respond. He knows that tone very well. They are going to have an argument.

"You go home at 2 AM. Then you leave the house at seven. You don't even have time to sleep but you have time to get drunk?!" Souichi was furious.

Tetsuhiro couldn't understand. He should understand how Tetsuhiro feels. Him of all people should know that beer helps them calm down when either of them is upset. "Senpai, I'm sorry. I just didn't have a good day-"

"Then go to bed! Was it that bad that you need to get drunk to get a good night's sleep?!" Souichi wants to drag him to his bedroom and pin him there til sleep takes him. "You're not thinking straight! I know you have things to do tomorrow. And if you get drunk in your state, you'll have a bad hangover!"

 _Why is he so disturbed by me drinking?_ "Senpai, I won't get drunk with just two-"

"Even so! Why keep it to yourself why you had a bad day when you can talk to me?! I can't take it anymore!"

He was touched and shocked. Souichi wants to share his burden. But Tetsuhiro's fatigue is getting the best of him and he is starting to get irritated. "I'm sorry Senpai. I promise I will tell you tomorrow. We can have this talk-"

"No! I can't handle seeing you like this anymore! You don't sleep properly! You don't have time to eat! You have stopped talking to everyone! You're here! But... but it feels like you're not. And I, I can handle being alone. But I can't handle what you're doing to yourself!"

Tetsuhiro suddenly felt bad for getting frustrated.

"You said you still want to get your degree. You said you can do it while training for S Pharmaceuticals. I'm ok with that. I trust you that you can do it. But when I see you like this, I don't know if your body can handle what you want it to do! I want you to be promoted. I respect that you must get your degree so you can achieve it quickly. But why? Why are you in such a rush? Why... why are you pushing yourself like this, Tetsuhiro?"


	3. Chapter 3

**sCan't Sleep in this Condition**

Chapter 3

"Why... why are you pushing yourself like this, Tetsuhiro?"

The brunette raised his head quickly when he heard his first name. _He's never used it before._

Tetsuhiro looked at Souichi closely. Souichi looks like he is dealing with a lot of pain. And he seems to be not getting enough sleep himself. Tetsuhiro suddenly felt like punching his own face. _I wasted my time thinking he is ok with all of this. If he is going to look like that the whole time I'm juggling work and school, then it's not worth it._

"Why?"

Tetsuhiro can't take the pain in Souichi's voice anymore. He slowly made his way to Souichi and took his right hand. "Senpai, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I made you worry. You're thinking so much about me, aren't you?"

"That's because you're being an idiot! And you're delusional if you think you're made of steel or something."

Tetsuhiro chuckled. "Why you ask? It's because... I'm selfish, and I want to keep you close." He squeezed Souichi's hand, his other hand holding his hip. "I want to be promoted quick so I can get the privilege of choosing Nagoya over Tokyo, or wherever they want to put me. I want to be assigned here, so I don't have to be so far from you any more than I already am. I want to come home to you everyday, not to an empty dormitory the company arranged for me."

 _That's all?_ Souichi looked at Tetsuhiro and saw that he is being honest. He wants the promotion so he can be permanently assigned in Nagoya. He wanted to punch Tetsuhiro's lights out for being so stupid. Not that it will take that much to do so. _He can't even stand still anymore._

"Did you hit your head somewhere?"

"Hm?"

"And you're deaf now too."

Souichi swatted Tetsuhiro's hand away and clenched his hands into fists. "I told you before, right? Did you forget? I won't go anywhere. I will always be here and you can come home anytime!" Blood is rushing to his face now. "You don't have to worry about me leaving y-... leaving this apartment!"

"No Senpai, I'm not worried about that." Tetsuhiro ran his hand on his hair and bowed his head. "I just... I want to be with you... everyday. Everytime I leave you, I feel so far from you. I know you love me but when I can't see you, I can't help but feel unsure." He knows he sounds ridiculous. He is being too selfish. Souichi has just accepted his feelings and the man himself, just started reciprocating openly not a month ago.

"I know." Tetsuhiro raised his head when he heard Souichi's voice shake. "I understand that." Souichi's head is down and he is clenching his hands so tight Tetsuhiro was afraid he will draw blood from his own hands. "But we can't afford what you want! Not yet. But we can... we can take it slow! And we... we can let things go their own way. We don't have to force... things to happen faster, like a promotion or a re-assignment! You're a new employee. You can't ask that much from them yet! I want you too... to be here everyday. But to be honest, I'm wondering why you insist on going back here. You... you have no reason to, and you can relocate there to make things easier. All you have to do is put your degree on hold and leave. But why you're not doing it, why you did not decide to relocate, I don't know why. But that makes me... sure. That you want to stay with me wholeheartedly. That it's not because you feel like you have to support me. So I trust you. That whenever you leave for training, I trust you that you would come back home... to me." Souichi can't handle it anymore. He has been humiliating himself so much already. "So you... could you just be more patient with this and let one year of this pass?! You will go back every two weeks anyway! And when you come home, I'll just be here! We can continue that way. Just trust me that nothing will change for the worst. I have accepted your feelings right?! And I told you mine! Isn't that enough to get you through the weeks? Because to me... to me, it is!" He felt like his head is about to combust from blushing so hard.

Tetsuhiro can't say anything in return. He feels... all warmed up inside. _This is the reason why I love him so much._

Souichi ended his tantrum breathing laboriously. He felt like he said too much. So instead of lifting his head to see his man's reaction, Souichi huffed and turned. He almost ran to his bedroom.

Tetsuhiro was quick to follow despite of how tired he was. He grabbed Souichi's hand and they made their way to Souichi's bedroom together.

He didn't mean to throw a tantrum. He just doesn't know if he was able to get his meaning across. So Souichi settled for showing how angry he was by running away. He was sure he is going to follow him. And now that they are both in his room, he doesn't know what to do next.

"Senpai..." He was glad that Souichi let him come inside with him. The blonde won't face him so Tetsuhiro grabbed his shoulders and turned him around.

"Sleep."

"I will Senpai." Tetsuhiro pulled him close and hugged him. It wasn't tight. The younger man really doesn't have his usual energy. "Just let me hug you for a while. I missed you."

Tetsuhiro laid his head on Souichi's shoulder. Souichi can't help but hug him back.

"I'm sorry. I promise I will be patient. I didn't mean for it to look like I don't trust you and how you feel for me. I was being insecured and I was selfish too. I'm sorry. Tomorrow, I will talk to sensei." He said it all too slowly that Souichi thought the man will fall asleep while talking.

"Baka. Stop apologizing already. As long as you understand, it's alright. Just... sleep already." He removed himself from Tetsuhiro and tugged at his hand towards the bed.

He was shocked when Tetsuhiro suddenly pulled him back and kissed him.

"Hmmm..."

Souichi underestimated the man's strength and it seems like Tetsuhiro overestimated the amount of strength he needs to use on Souichi. The man ended up pressed tight into Tetsuhiro's chest.

He embraced him and softly tugged at his long hair. Souichi was caught off-guard that he opened his mouth in surprise. In no time, Souichi felt Tetsuhiro's tongue exploring his mouth and he felt his knees going weaker. For a tired man, Tetsuhiro seems to be too enthusiastic.

He pulled away slightly after a while, "It's true. I can relocate." Souichi stared at the brunette. His eyes are closed. "But I won't Senpai. You said I have no reason to stay. But aren't you enough reason? I love you, and I won't leave you." He finally opened his eyes and caught Souichi staring. "Thank you for everything you said." He leaned closer, too close that Souichi smelled the alcohol in his breath, "I promise I will be patient, and I will trust you."

Then Tetsuhiro closed the distance once again. Souichi felt his arms encircle his waist and he leaned into Tetsuhiro further for support. He was surprised when he felt Tetsuhiro's hand snaking its way to his backside and gave one of his ass cheecks a squeeze.

The blonde arched and he gasped into Tetsuhiro's mouth. Tetsuhiro took the chance to slip his tongue into Souichi and he rubbed his lower body on the blonde's crotch.

"Hn!" Souichi's mind started to go blank and he prayed to all the gods that Tetsuhiro would soon push him on the bed because he's not sure if his knees can support him further. He was stunned though when Tetsuhiro's movements suddenly became calmer, and he gently stopped the kiss.

Tetsuhiro pulled away slowly for breath and leaned his forehead on Souichi's. "Let's sleep now Senpai, ne?" He gave Souichi one last peck on the lips and quickly crawled into bed, still in his day clothes. He fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

Souichi was left standing dumbfounded by the foot of the bed with a raging erection.

"You... you... Mori - naga!"

He picked up a pillow and hit Tetsuhiro's leg with it hard. But the man did not even register the contact. He even started snoring.

END


End file.
